Move Over Eds
by AmarieC
Summary: After the Kankers' biggest fight yet, they move out of their trailer and separately move in with the Eds, but they aren't gonna take that for long and plot to get them back in the trailer, but for boys with such a supposed hatred, something isn't right.
1. No Vacancy

Move Over Ed

by AmarieC

After their biggest fight, the Kanker sisters break up and move in with their Eds. But they aren't going to put up with that.

If you want to know who Veronica Kanker is, read Peach, Ach Creek.

Rated T for Kanker violence, other violence, drug content, and sensuality, you know, the usual.

Chapter One

"No Vacancy"

Marie Kanker sat down on her couch, she fantasized of her little 'Ed' as May plopped onto the sofa and grabbed the remote. She switched the channel to 'Underwater 4 1/2'.

"Heah, I'm trying to think!" Marie yelled, she threw May off the couch, then sighed heavily as if in a dream. May rolled her eyes, but being the most timid sister, she gave up and went outside. Lee lay on the roof, sunbathing.

"My hubby is gonna love my tan," Lee mumbled to herself. She took off her red framed sunglasses and looked down at May, "What 'ya doing?"

"Nothing Bowser!" May yelled, she frowned, "My hubby's gonna love this!" she mocked. Lee got mad and steamed up. She grabbed May and stuffed her under the crack of their trailer door after beating her of course. Lee then climbed back on the roof and lay down again. Marie laughed at May from the couch. "Be quiet Marie!" May demanded getting up and grabbing Marie by her hair. She spun her around the room. Marie yelled in pain and fear.

Lee banged on the trailer roof and jumped into the trailer, "Shut up down there!"

"Make me!" May shouted letting go of her sister's hair which sent her flying through the kitchen door with a loud smash. Lee busted a hole in the trailer ceiling and jumped into the trailer.

"D'you have PMS again?"

"No!" May yelled, "You guys keep ignoring me!"

"Wah! Wah!" Marie pretended to cry like a baby as she came back from the kitchen.

"THAT'S IT!!!" May screamed in frustration.

"What's it?" Lee asked.

"I am sick of you guys being mean!" May stopped shouting, "I have feelings like a dog. I want to be seen!"

"Heah, I'm the boss..." Lee tried to say.

"Who said?" Marie yelled.

"Me!" Lee shouted back at her.

"Shut up!" May screamed, they were doing it again.

"I don't listen to you, Lee," Marie yelled, ignoring May entirely.

"Shut up!" they screamed at each other rage fully.

The neighborhood's silence was broken by the roaring scream of three girls, "FINE!!"

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Eddy smiled as he marked off the final day of his two week grounding period on his calendar and rushed to his door. Opening it, he smelled the scent of sweet, sweet freedom. But there Lee stood in his doorway with bags in each hand. Eddy freaked and slammed the door in her face. He hid in his closet but didn't hear a thing. Then a knock came at his door.

"Go away Kanker!" Eddy demanded.

"It's me Eddy," a boy's voice said. Eddy went back to his door and opened it, Edd stood there frightened.

"Where did Lee go? She was just here a second ago," Eddy asked.

"She's right here," Edd said between his teeth, pointing to the left as she stood against the house. Her face was red from yelling. Eddy's eyes widened and Edd hurried into the house.

"Eddy, I'm moving in with you," Lee said pushing both of them out of the way and entering the bedroom, she started unpacking.

"Heah, this is my..." Eddy said, Edd whispered to him.

"Best not to fight it, Marie came to my house earlier and I tried to dispose of her. However, she was complaining about her sisters and that they were not living together anymore. Then she beat me."

Eddy rolled his eyes, "It's about time they broke up!"

"No Eddy, she took my bed!" Edd said in distraught ness.

"So take it back," he yelled as he took Lee's clothes out of his drawer and shoved them back into her suitcase.

"Heah!" Lee yelled, she put them back.

Eddy grabbed her wrist tightly, "This is my room, GET OUT!"

Lee stopped, she began to cry, "Nobody likes me, nobody listens to me."

"On no, the steam is turning into liquid," Edd stated, he awkwardly patted Lee on the back, "There, there, your sisters..."

"Leave me alone!" she yelled, "My sisters hate me." Eddy moaned, he knew she wouldn't leave now.

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Ed rolled on his side, sleeping in his bed. May climbed into his window, she set her backpack down and went over to Ed's bed. He woke up.

"AHHHH!!!"

"Shh," May said sadly, "Ed, can I stay here?"

Ed got out of bed, "Kanker hurt Ed!"

"I won't hurt you big guy," May said.

"Dah? Huh?" Ed asked.

"Please can I stay, my sisters don't want me."

"Want what?"

May cried, bawling out her eyes, "Even my boyfriend ignores me!"

"If I am your boyfriend, boyfriends and girlfriends don't hurt each other!" Ed said, his eyes watered.

May's head raised and she looked to Ed, "What are you looking at me like that for?"

"Edboy is touched by Kanker beast's senseless and unexpected babbling of the features!" Rolf said, his hands full of Ed's garbage that lay all over the floor. Ed and May stared at him. "Rolf is present to Edboy's filth to make manure!" Rolf explained himself, "Edboy's mother was happy Rolf desired such filth."

"Heah, that's my stuff Rolf," Ed smiled at him, he took the garbage from him after getting out of bed. He was in his underwear which didn't bother anyone. Ed looked around for a place to put the garbage and threw it on the floor.

"Rolf is confused!" he went upstairs.

"That Rolf cracks me up!" Ed said, he laughed until he remembered May's presence. May stared at him from the edge of his bed. Ed shivered in fright.

"Can I stay?" May pleaded.

"Hurt bad for Ed," he answered scared, "Yes."

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"I missed you today Veronica," Edd said on the phone, Marie messed up Edd's bed and made herself comfortable. There was a pause as Marie listened to Edd's conversation with her cousin. He had been on the phone for a half an hour and Marie was getting mad. "No," Edd blushed.

"Well, May came over to my house and asked me what she should do to get Ed to like her," Veronica said in her bedroom walking around in her room.

"What did you advise?" Edd asked.

"I told her not to be violent and be nice," he heard her answer into the phone.

"Oh, well Marie is here now, do you think she would take your advice?"

"No, what? You want her to make you like her?"

"Of course not, well it would be nice if she was civil. But even then I would not be interested." Marie's fingers tapped against Edd's night stand impatiently, she wanted to go to sleep. And she was getting extremely insulted.

"Get off the phone Double D!" she yelled.

"Oh my, I am sorry Veronica, Marie wants me to disconnect. It is getting late anyway."

"Yeah, don't be sorry," Veronica replied.

"Goodnight, and sweet dreams," Edd smiled.

"Goodnight," she echoed, "I'll see you tomorrow." Edd hung up with a dreamy look on his face. Marie was laying on his bed with her arms folded, fists clenched, and a dirty look on her face.

"Marie, I know it may sound rude, but this is my room and you did not ask to come here and were not invited," Edd lectured taking a sleeping bag out of his closet.

"I don't care, I want to go to bed!" Marie yelled.

"Yes Marie," Edd sighed.

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Edd's alarm clock went off. He woke up and crawled out of his sleeping bag. After yawning babyishly, he walked awkwardly over to his bed stand. Before he could shut off his alarm, Marie stretched out a hand from the covers she was submersed in and hit the plastic box, smashing it open. It stopped but Edd was surprised. Marie got out of the bed and went wordlessly to the bathroom. Edd heard his shower running water so he got undressed and started putting on his normal apparel. Marie opened the bathroom door and watched him finish. He heard her laugh and his eyes widened. He turned around, "Ah! Have you no sense of privacy!?"

"Guess not," Marie laughed.

"You sound like Eddy with those words," Edd mumbled.

"No I don't, we have nothing in common!" she said, her face turned scarlet.

"Marie, you're blushi..." he said, she slammed the door and locked it again. He thought standing there a second, then left downstairs to the kitchen. He rummaged through his cupboards not yet to notice the mess of food on his floor. "My," he remembered his friend, he opened his refrigerator. Hearing a faint snoring pattern, he opened two drool covered cupboard doors to his left. He wiped the drool off onto his shorts and looked at the sight. Ed was laying in the cupboard snuggling a turkey and a grapefruit. "Ed?" he tried to wake him, "Ed wake up."

"Good morning Double D," Ed said waking up, he opened his half shut eyes wide. Trying to get out of the cupboard, both boys realized Ed was stuck.

"Oh, let me held Ed!" Edd offered grabbing both of Ed's hands and trying to pull him out.

"Heave ho, buckanoe!!" Ed exclaimed, he squeezed his gut out but his thighs got stuck.

"Suck it in Ed!" he pleaded. Ed moaned and groaned as he plopped out sending him on Edd. His doorbell rang and he rolled Ed off him. "Excuse me Ed," Edd went out of the kitchen to his front door. Eddy tried to smile, cranky and tired as Edd answered the door.

"Heah Double D."

"Hi Eddy, you look..."

"Tired? It took me all night to get over the idea of Lee getting into my bed and sleeping with me, but she stayed on the other side of the room."

"That's wonderful, Marie was watching me get dressed!" Edd shut the door after Eddy stepped in.

"So?" Eddy asked, "Lee asked to take a shower with me!"

"That is so crude." The two went into the kitchen where Ed was trying to stand up.

"So where's petunia anyway?" Eddy asked.

"Taking a shower in my bathroom," Edd said, "She's probably down by now."

"Help me guys!" Ed moaned.

"Oh, hi Ed!" Eddy greeted Ed grudgingly, "You ate all my food again!"

Ed laughed, "Sorry."

"Oh you'll be sorry, 'cause we're gonna roll you to school," Eddy smirked.

"But Eddy, school is three blocks away!" Edd complained looking at his wimpy stick arms.

"We are going to push Ed to school, WE Double D!" Eddy said rolling Ed out of the kitchen. Ed laughed in amusement.

Marie came downstairs, greeting with, "Boys."

"Heah Petunia!" Eddy yelled madly at her.

"Shut up Eddy!" Marie said pinching his nose and going out the front door, shutting it behind herself rudely. Eddy growled, opening the door as Edd rolled Ed outside.

"Eddy!" Lee yelled from down the street, "Walk me to school!" She ran over and grabbed him by the arm while ignoring Marie. She then walked off with an involuntary Eddy. May stayed away from Ed and Edd because they were close to Marie at the moment. Edd struggled to get Ed to school.

"Put some back into it Double D, I know you got one," Marie said.

"I feel like a bowling ball!" Ed giggled.

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Ed and Edd followed Eddy to the cafeteria slowly.

"I'm hungry guys!" Ed said looking at his empty stomach.

"Ed, how did you digest all that food so quickly?" Edd asked.

"The force?" Ed guessed.

"Eh, Ed couldn't have gotten that big from eating our food in one night, the story board is just exaggerated!" Eddy said as they walked into the cafeteria. The Ed's quickly picked up some food and went past the student-filled tables to the one they usually sat at in the back. This particular table was rusted, and they were sure a mouse lived under it. There Veronica sat and when she saw them she smiled.

"Hi Veronica!" Ed said then he dug into his food.

"Hi Mr. Eat My Friend's Food!" she complained laughing.

"Hello," Eddy mumbled looking around. Lee waved from another table.

"Salutations Veronica," Edd greeted feeling a boot rub against his knee. He smiled at her blushing and the foot continued to rub him. Eddy leaned close to Veronica to feel safe from Lee and felt her leg. He looked under the table and laughed as she withdrew. Ed laughed, but he didn't know what was going on.

"What's go funny?" he asked.

"Somebody missed somebody last night, it's May, Lee, and Marie's faults we didn't see you. They have to barge in, mess up our rooms, and be a pain in the butts!" Edd and Veronica were silent in embarrassment. Eddy snickered.

"Shut up Eddy," Veronica said. Ed was still laughing.

"Well, uhm, uh, huh," Edd stopped, not being able to think of anything but the way Veronica had been touching him.

"At least May is being nice!" Ed said, not telling half the kindness May had been showing.

"O-K Ed, you're talking about a Kanker," Eddy said, "A Kanker sister."

"I told her how she could get Ed to like her," Veronica explained.

"Oh, that'll work!" Eddy mocked.

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Ed crept up to his house and went around the house to his bedroom window. Crawling through he looked around the basement, he had been at Eddy's house for an hour after school working on a scam.

"May?" he called. She came out of the bathroom and looked at him, she remembered not to be violent.

"Hello Ed," she greeted.

"What's that?" Ed asked pointing at a thing that May was holding.

"It's a toilet scrub," May answered, "I'm cleaning our toilet, guross!"

"Toilet scrub?" Ed's head cocked to the left curiously.

"Uh huh," she answered smiling at him.

"Oh, my mom told me to clean it a few years ago!" Ed said happy he didn't have to now. May's heart almost burst in gladness that he was pleased. "Thank you May!" Ed said setting his stuff down on the floor and going to his TV. May sighed watching him for a moment then going back to the bathroom. Ed looked back towards the bathroom looking for May, and finally back to the television set in confusion.

THE END of chapter one. Can you give me suggestions as to what I should include in the next chapters? Thanks, please review.


	2. Underwelcomed

**Move Over Ed**

WOW!!!! I actually got reviews now. Thankyou thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you ZombieZapper101 and FanofDa'Edboyz! You both came through for me again! Okay, too many exclamation points. I hope you likah this chapterah. Oh, and having Edd get undressed in a story is ALWAYS fun, wouldn't you say? Man, I need to keep my opinions to myself.

And of course I don't own TV Guide or it's channel, and I'm thankful for that, nor do I own Ed, Edd, n' Eddy, but it is fun to fake it. And I don't own the Burger King, and I am also glad for that, or the song Yo Future that I just had to blurt out at the end of the story notes, nor do I own the Loch Ness monster but I only can hope I'm right by saying it exists because I am 79 sure that it does.

**Chapter Two**

"Underwelcomed"

Marie rolled her eyes as she looked at Edd studying. He put down his pencil and looked away from his many books. Looking out his window thoughtfully, he seemed to be in another universe. She was bored, so decided to bother him.

"What are you thinking about?!" she asked snootily, "Your precious grades?" Edd turned to her, quite agitated yet trying to keep his mild manner.

"No, are you jealous Marie?" he asked.

"Of what? I don't need to be a smarty-pants," she dismissed. When she raised her hand, she scared him half to death. But it was only a gesture and nothing to worry over. He couldn't help it however, since he knew she was violent, and was the sickest of the Kanker sisters, focusing on the details. He cringed in thought of the last thing she had done to him, which was two months ago. It had gone so fast he hadn't realized. But now he could see that she wasn't interested, and everything she did was at a distance. She passed up every opportunity to harass him, making him wonder if she had grown out of it, or perhaps, liked someone else now. He couldn't say he was troubled by this, just curious. He recalled what they had been talking about, and tried to encourage her.

"It doesn't mean you cannot try in your studies," he said.

"I do try, I got a D last week," she said, genuinely happy. Edd frowned, but tried to have some enthusiasm in his face.

"That's nice Marie," he was silent for a moment after. He didn't get chances like this where he could just talk to this mystery as if she was a normal human being, so he could ask her those questions that were nagging him. "Marie?" He spoke up weakly.

"Yeah?"

He knew exactly what he wanted to ask her, and came right out and asked it, "Do you like Eddy?" He was nervous, as her face turned to a roaring flame of fire.

"NO!" she screamed at him, "He's a pipsqueak!" His heart was pounding horribly and he was almost to faint; he had to appease her.

"I was just asking, it's just... you show no interest..." he stopped dead, he didn't want to encourage her in this, "I just see something there..."

"Shut up! I don't like him. He's stupid, annoying, and he likes my sister Lee!" He couldn't help but notice the jealousy in her tone. She was flushed, and turned from him to the wall where she had just punched a hole. She remembered back to three months ago helplessly, her love affair with Eddy, no one ever knew, and since then she hadn't spoken to him about it.

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Stubby fingers tapped against Eddy's bed. Lee looked at him and puckered, reaching in for a kiss. He yelped, hiding himself under his covers. _"Oh no, what if she gets in bed with me?!" _He thought whimpering.

"Oh Eddy!" She giggled, walking around the bed. He shook in his blanket; he had to get out of there. Since she had arrived so unexpectedly, Lee had attacked Eddy ten times with four of those lasting for hours at a time because she liked to cuddle him. He devised a plan in his mind for a desperate escape. She sat on Eddy's bed and stroked him, making him squirm away and lie still, just hoping he could disappear.

"Go away Lee!" he demanded with weepiness in his voice.

"No, no Eddy, I live here now, I'm your guest, and you need to be good to your guest," she said suggestively. He started his countdown, now finding the perfect strategy, the only strategy, out of this hell.

"Five, four..." he whispered, shaking all over. He gripped the blanket for easy removal, "three, two..." At one he ran off the bed, flipping the blanket off and running for the door. He tried to run faster, but couldn't believe he was going fast enough. He gripped the doorknob and turned it as Lee caught the door. He swallowed hard, paralyzed at the sight of her hand on his gate of freedom. He looked up to her evil smile. He shivered as he stared into her cold eyes, having her hair swept out off her face. She laughed, and bent down, leaning forward. He backed up as she continued to approach.

"No Eddy, hold still, I won't hurt you," she said persuasively and put her lips to his ear. He listened intently as she whispered two sentences, but these two sentences changed the mood entirely. His heart raced and he stared into her eyes once again as she moved back from him.

"I hate you," he gasped coldly, then tried to move his face towards hers. She picked him up and allowed him to kiss her. He kissed her violently on the lips, pulling away fast. But she held him still, so he hit her in the face and escaped from her grip. Out the door he went with fear she would follow him.

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May walked into the bedroom from the stairway. Ed was still watching television at this time, he heard her come in and turned to the blond.

"What are you watching?" she asked, sitting next to him with eyes doting.

"'Deep Sea And Unseen: The Loch Ness Monster'!" He said showing her the cover of the latest TV Guide. It was blotched with nacho dip but a picture of a monster with endless scales running down its back floating atop a lake could clearly be seen.

"Wow Ed!" May exclaimed honestly, but was it sarcasm?

"It's real!" he said smiling at her. She blushed upon noticing his feistiness. He looked back at the television and they sat there watching the cheapest form of science fiction.

"ED!!" they heard a demonic voice yell distraughtly from upstairs.

"Oh no!' Ed whimpered, hiding behind May.

"Was that that sister of yours?" May asked.

"Yes mam'me, Sarah," Ed answered, "Ed didn't do it."

"Do what?" May asked right before Sarah came into the room with a boom.

"Ed! Mom said you can't have a girl sleepover," she yelled.

"But Sarah, she has no place to go," Ed pleaded from behind her. Sarah stopped and looked at May, then studied her for awhile.

"Ed, who is this?"

"May Kanker."

"Boy Ed, you want her to stay with you?" she asked frowning. Ed didn't want to answer, to embarrassed to say yes.

"Ed's sister, ask your mom if I can stay," May asked with a mild tone, "I sleep in the laundry room."

"Why don't you go back to your dirty trailer park?" Sarah asked with suspicion. May's eyes began to tear as she thought of her sisters.

"My stupid sisters ignored me and we got in a big fight!"

"Hmmm, so why don't you go to Veronica's house!? You're HER problem!" Sarah said, twitching at her name.

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Eddy shut his friend's door behind him and walked up the stairs in a pant. _"It's quiet," _he thought. He went down the hall a short distance and walked through the door where Edd was busy with is chemistry set with Veronica watching him; Marie was filing a pair of high heels with a rasp.

"Heah," he greeted, looking at Marie. He looked away and she turned to watch him.

"Hi," Veronica said with a smile.

"Hello Eddy," Edd said concentrating hard on a vile that he was holding up to the light of the open window. Eddy slumped over to the table and looked at his female friend who just looked as if she was waiting for something, then at his other friend. "I'm experimenting with some enzymes."

"What for?" Eddy asked in a sort of freaked out disgust.

"To observe the wonder of our digestive system," he didn't find it that hard to understand, but was happy to share with him.

"Oh," he had no idea what that meant or why, but didn't care. He glanced back at Marie, "Has she gotten in the way of some action?"

Edd frowned at him, "Eddy!" he scolded. He turned to Veronica, who was smiling as she frowned in a contradiction.

"You think differently?"

She became sober and quiet, "What do you mean?" Immediately, she wanted to change the subject, "Why are you so mad?"

"Your stupid cousins, that's what's making me mad!" he said bitterly as he glanced at Marie for the fifty-seventh time. She stared at him.

"Eddy, did Lee do something to you just now?" Edd asked handing Veronica the vile to look at.

"What do you think?" He folded his arms in insecurity. They sat awkwardly and quiet after that. Marie gripped the rasp tightly with anticipation for an answer.

"I have the worst scenario in my mind Eddy," Edd answered, "Did she rape you?" Marie's fists clenched until marks developed on her skin around the file.

"No! I'm a man!"

"Eddy, though it might be rare, it can happen too," Veronica answered.

"She said she'd break my arm if I didn't kiss her," he admitted. Marie started laughing in a mock. He turned to her, angrily, hurt.

"Shut up!" he demanded, he could feel his eyes watering, "If it hadn't been for someone she wouldn't even be in my room to do what she did!" She dropped her shoes and stood, insulted by him.

"What is someone supposed to do about it?"

He turned to face her, "Someone could have stayed with me!"

"What about Lee!? She thinks you belong to HER, why shouldn't she stay with you?"

"No one ever tried to claim me!" He shouted even louder back.

"No one can Eddy! She is so stubborn and mean and pushy! She thinks she's the boss, no one can say anything against that witch! She's scary!"

"I KNOW," he calmed down, "But I need someone to stand up to her." He stared at her as if his life was in her hands. Edd motioned Veronica to leave with him, knowing to give them privacy to settle their matters. After they left, they started yelling again.

"Eddy stop it!"

"No, you think I can ever forgive you for what you did?" He yelled back at her.

"I don't, but you can't expect me to do anything, why would I give up what me and my sisters have made together?"

"What did you make? You're a terrorist! And now you won't even live together, what are you protecting?!" He grasped her thick wrist and stared up into her bitter eyes.

"Would you forgive me if I told Lee off?" She asked, desiring to keep him for herself.

"Yes! I want to!" He answered. She paused, smiled at the thought of this ongoing war ending at last. But thoughts entered her mind which hardened her.

"NO!"

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Eddy slumped through the neighborhood as if he had just waken up. Over to Ed's house he went as if he had forgotten that May had 'invaded' his home. He climbed down into the basement and looked around the room for his blissful friend. The room was empty, but he could hear laughing and talking coming from the laundry room. He walked to the room and saw Ed and May doing laundry together. 'Together' stuck in his head and he screamed.

"Ed! What are you doing with Bowser?" May dropped a pair of Ed's pants and looked at Eddy. Ed ignored him for a second as he threw dryer lint out of the catcher, then he looked at him.

"Hi Eddy!"

"Ed!" Eddy yelled.

"Me and May are doing laundry!" Ed answered, pointing at how they had separated the whites proudly.

May giggled, "Eddy, do you need your laundry done because me and Ed are having fun!"

"No Kanker!" He shouted, clenching his fists, completely annoyed by her, "Get your sister out of my house! That's what you can do!" Once again May began crying, but this time she was mad.

"Me and Ed were having fun together, and I was forgetting my problems, you have to ruin everything!" May yelled. Ed came over and patted her on the back soothingly.

"There, there May, Ed will make Eddy shut up," he said calmly and shut him in his room with him.

"What's with you Ed?" He complained, "You're acting like you like her here!"

"I do," Ed answered as if at marriage vows and smiled goofily at his grumpy, short friend. "How have you been?" His friend ignored his last question.

"You LIKE her!?" he yelled. May obviously heard and smiled dreamily with a short sigh. She began to fold the clean, dry laundry as she listened to their conversation like some kind of weasel. "Ed we need to get the Kanker sisters back together, but how?" Eddy asked, thinking instantly about different ways to make the three girls reconcile.

"Ok Eddy, May is really upset and I need to make her happy!" He said, "Ed can't see a sad-sack face."

He frowned, "Whatever."

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"The last sanctuary," Edd joked pointing around Veronica's room: the one place the Kanker sisters hadn't invaded. She laughed quietly, staring as she carefully watched him. His mood changed into a plead, "Please reconcile your cousins. Please, I beg of you, Marie is taking over my room. She doesn't wipe off her muddy shoes. I don't even know where the mud is coming from! She makes me perform these uncanny tasks, and I can't change my clothing without becoming a stripper!" He complained with horror on his face, "Please Veronica!" He held her hands and got on his knees in a pathetic beg.

She smiled with an awkwardly embarrassed, white face, "Alright. Stop groveling."

"Yes," he stood and cleared his throat for dignity, "Thank you."

"You know, all you had to do was ask in a normal, casual manner, you didn't have to beg me did you?" He became embarrassed, staring at her in shame.

"I'm sorry I shouted," he said.

"I know, it isn't like you." Veronica answered, getting up to look out the window, then came back from the uneventful world to sit on the bed. He stood there awkwardly, and finally sat next to her. "Stripper?"

"Yes, she watches me get undressed, she's disgusting," he answered distraughtly.

"Oh," she said putting a self-conscious hand on his leg, "Let's move her out now."

"Right now?" Edd asked, alarmed at the urgency.

"Unless you don't want to," Veronica began to think of other things to do.

"No, no, we can move her out now, I'm just unsure what will work," he answered.

"I don't want her looking at you," she said, laughing uneasily. He frowned so she escaped to the window, then saw Ed and Eddy trying to peek in. Instead of yelling at dirty Eddy, she ducked down and whispered to Edd to come over. He followed, quite confused. They watched Eddy back up to see into the window where they peered through the nearly opaque curtains.

"Lift me up Ed," Eddy bossed, getting on his shoulders for height. "I can't see anything! What are they doing?" Veronica popped up and directed anger at Eddy.

"Heah!"

"Oh hi, can we come in?" Eddy fell over in shock right after and got a full mouth of grass. Edd stood up and waved at Ed.

"We are coming out," he frowned at his other friend. Once out, Edd decided to confront Eddy on his snoopiness. "We know you were watching us."

"Yes we were!" Ed said, "We were going to your house, but you weren't home so we came here and Eddy wanted to look in the window to see if you guys were picking woo or something like that because Eddy is a little weirdo who likes to watch..."

"No I didn't," Eddy interrupted.

"...stuff like that because he is just, well, I don't know why but he needs to stop because he might get hurt by falling off of my shoulders but I know I am a good ladder since I'm tall and stiff like a yak in the Siberian desert, no wait, the Arctic circle is more likely and they are furry animals but Eddy wouldn't want to climb on one of those because they would buck him off so I'm better to climb on but he should say please sometimes and have a gooder reason..."

"We know Ed," Edd mumbled, they all were stunned by Ed's running mouth. Ed looked around the horizon for cameras with a suspicious look, wondering how they knew.

"Get over it Ed!" Eddy said, then he went straight to the subject. "Your cousins have to go back to the trailer park!"

"Yeah, we were just discussing that," Edd commented. "But how do we do execute this endeavor?"

"Hmmm," I was thinking we force them."

"Eddy, they are stronger than us, and very fixed on staying," he answered, "But if we bribe them it might..." Eddy dugged into his pocket, alarming him. Then he dug into his own pockets, then Ed's, and risked digging in Veronica's skirt pockets with Edd watching him carefully. He added lint to the already fruitless collection of a cheese stick and abacus from Ed's and Edd's respective pockets.

"Eddy made the point that we are broke!" Ed narrated. He snatched the cheese stick from Eddy's hand and ate it. "Yum!"

"Why don't you freakishly annoy them until they WANT to leave?" Veronica suggested, always ready for an eccentric idea.

"That'll work!" Eddy said.

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"That was YOUR idea!" Eddy blamed, looking at Veronica hatefully with a headache. Fist marks garnered his face along with two kiss marks.

"Yeah, but you thought it was a good venture," Edd said almost energyless.

"I got to lick a shoe!" Ed said fantasizing about Lee's sneaker. He walked along bent over with his rear end in the air and a naked footprint in his jeans/butt. As much as he tried to stand up straight, he couldn't.

"It didn't work Ed!" Eddy groaned. Ed's face brightened as it was pointed to the ground, so he got a fantastic view of the asphalt. The young teenagers and preteen walked down the street, thinking of ways to get rid of the Kanker sisters.

"You guys, the only way to make my cousins leave your places is to fix the problem that made them leave in the first place," Veronica commented.

"Yeah, but there's just one problem, WE CAN'T FIX THOSE VIOLENT, SICK, ANNOYING GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Eddy shouted up into her face as loud as he could.

"STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!" She yelled back. Then it was silent as those two panted, giving each other dirty looks.

"Please, that last failed attempt to rid us of May, Lee, and Marie is just getting to us," Edd refereed.

"May can't stay with me guys, she's sad!" Ed whined in pity.

"Ed, if May wasn't sad would you let her stay?" Edd asked in quite a surprise.

"Yep, she's really really really nice now!" Ed said blushing. His friends all started laughing.

"Good joke Ed!" Eddy complemented. Ed only frowned as he watched his three friends laughing it up.

"I like May!" He defended, "So you leave her alone Eddy!"

"Yes Eddy," Edd stopped laughing; "Don't you think it is a little charming?"

Eddy turned on him, completely taken back, "Oh, you'll think it's 'charming' when she gets what she wants then betrays him!" He complained sarcastically, his voice upset. He turned and walked away. Edd and Veronica watched him curiously as he went towards his house. Ed just sat on the sidewalk. Then, as Eddy continued to walk off down the street, he got an idea. Edd sensed this as one with so much experience and smiled as he came running energetically back. "Guys, I've finally got it!"

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End! Welp, I used way too many exclamation points in that chapter. Here, I complained about the chapter so you don't have to. Review Pul-ease, and I'll feed your cat for you. I hope I made everyone in character this time. Thank you all, except for the lawyers, flamers, people who pass this story up without a second notice, my brothers who thought this story was boring, and myself because I am too tough on myself and who thanks themselves anyway?. I need to be concentrating on An Ed to Face, not this Burger King special but I'll update the last chapter at some point in time soon, so look to the future. Yo Future!


	3. Kiss Goodbye

**Move Over Ed**

Okay, here...here is chapter three. Thank you for all your reviews. And furthermore, I said that Edd getting undressed is always fun, not funny. Man, that was just weird in the boomerang episode. But at the same time... err, I'm just going to stop here. I was wondering if I should kill off this fic when I saw that I had gotten no reviews from anyone in over a period of a month, but now look, we are here at the finale. PUT AWAY THAT TEAR GAS BILLY!!! Hopefully this ending is interesting and funny enough for your time: I kinda injected a bit of romance in this last chapter, so track me down and shoot me if you want to. Oh, and for those of you who are unfamiliar with the ever-so-awkward Veronica, you can look in my profile for her thorough biography and be brought to the familiarity. The following babble is a test: #$&()-+/ .

Enjoy the denouement...

**Chapter Three**

_"Kiss Goodbye"_

Edd opened his front door and came in, the darkness of the house and contrast of the light from the windows placing shadows on his nervous, yet anxious face. He came in, closing the door ever so carefully behind him so as not to make one little sound. However, he heard just a little click of the door which made out a ring throughout the quiet house. He came across the carpets, clenching a small, plastic, orange cylinder in his hand. When he approached the door where the kitchen met the living space, he could suddenly hear the banging and clanking of pots, pans, and various others that made such a noise as to scare him. These noises had always been present, but he had been to busy listening to the sound of his heart bouncing around in his flat chest like a rabbit's. The door was pushed open, and he soon found the horror that his heart was convulsing for.

Marie was there in the kitchen, cooking as it seemed. She in his mother's old apron, sweating, and trying to do the best she could with ingredients like lettuce and chicken, since all she had ever known was spam and ketchup. He could only keep his eyes wide, glaring at the girl cooking away. He slipped the orange vile into his pocket quietly, and approached her. She turned, screamed in his face, making him scream. He fell to the ground in the fetal position, sucking his thumb and shaking like his heart.

"Go sit down!" She pointed to the table, and then went back to work, soon gathering tableware together and setting up for dinner. He watched her, and went around as far as he could, sitting down at the table as she threw the unlit candles off of it. Humph, no romance. Well, he could be comforted in that. She went over to the counter, and came back with two sloppy, burnt plates of chicken salad. Even the lettuce was burnt. He frowned, not taking it all that seriously until he saw that not only was dinner sloppy, but the plates it was served on were dirty!

"Ahhh!!!" He screeched, leaning back in his chair in weakness. She smacked his big mouth, and sat down in indignation.

"Sorry," he muttered with a red face. He picked up his fork, and then set it down, since there was remnants of macaroni on it- he didn't even remember eating macaroni since..., it was three weeks. He was puzzled at this since all of the dishes were always cleaned after being used. He stared over at Marie in wonderment as she shoved her salad down her throat. She got up abruptly, choking on a piece of lettuce. He stood, alarmed and ready to help her in her distress, but she just shoved her hand in his face.

"S..iiiiitte, down!" She tried to say, going over to the sink and filling a glass with water. He watched her carefully, and retrieved the orange bottle from his pocket, popping it open, and eyeing her food. The bottom of Marie's glass was up as she flushed down her food three yards off from him. He leaned over the side of the table, counting on her table manners to aid him in the plot. He placed two pills under the lettuce on her plate, the greenest leaf, and sat back down in his seat as she turned to him and came over to commence their meal together, without word or joy in each other. But that night, Double D knew, Marie would sleep like a coma patient, and he gave off a little grin as she practically consumed her plate.

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Smearing never felt good. But Eddy knew how it felt, now he did, how it felt to have himself smeared, and beaten, and ridiculed, and shamed- together. He was afraid to go into the bedroom tonight, since Lee had given him that eye that morning. She had left, having been busy the rest of the day. He hadn't seen her since she gave him that little eye, the eye of a greedy Ursula, the eye of a wicked witch, as she passed him through the back door on their way to school. He knew, that something was wrong with the way she had looked him from inside the irises, down to his...

She had smeared him up against the walls of every room in his house, smeared her lips on him, smeared his name.

He had heard her come home, and couldn't stand the thought of going in there to that room, which was supposed to be his safety, HIS room. Lee was in his room, in the dark, quiet, still, a complete mystery to him. Was she waiting? Was she just sleeping? He swallowed hard, and felt quivers of cold sliver down his body. Maybe it would have been better, to sleep in the hallway tonight, or over at Ed's house. Iiiiickk, May was there. But May, she was the demon to the devil. She never eyed him the way Lee did. He saw the door, and crack of dark in between it and the frame. He heard that little creak, he saw the subtle push that the door moved forward, then bounced back to its place.

He had heard it. He was not being paranoid. He had heard that creak, he felt her breath, yes, her breath that had moved the door. He was right up to it, and he could not move, glued to the carpet.

"Eddy baby," he heard her call enticingly, pushing the door again with her breath, making it creak. He gasped for breath, and the door swung back, banging against the wall, digging the door knob into it. He couldn't see her, but only her hand reach out and pull him into the darkness. He felt under her, then above her, then sideways and on the mattress. Shamelessly crying and whining, he hardly remembered, as she stripped off his shoes and socks, that he was supposed to poison her with the pill in his pocket. The capsule was still in his jeans as she scraped her body, bare in pajamas, up his short, stout frame. He could feel her fingers pinching him as she ripped off his shirt, kissing his chest right down the middle. She giggled, the best part being that he fought so much, with his legs and arms jerking and trying to fist her. He felt her sweaty hands clench both of his as much as they fought for him and slam them down into the bed in defeat.

No one was home, he knew, as she pressed herself, banging him with her own body and making him feel so horribly close to the topic of his nightmares. Oh, she was in his bed, and reaching for the button of his jeans. He needed that button to stay within its loop, he didn't want it to yield to her pulling, rapid hands. She rubbed his waist, rubbed his abdomen, then went down and ripped his pants open. The scream he gave out was reeking with terror, and nothing else.

He needed those pants on so he could get out those pills, but he didn't know how to make her consume it as the fear made his mind race with all horrors. He knew he was crying, but didn't care, he had to stop her, he had to get rid of her, he had to go through with the plan that he had told his friends they were going to execute on the next morning. As she slipped the jeans down his warm legs, he quickly reached into the left pocket and searched for the pills. But the seam was all he felt and hopelessness only overtook him. That was his only hope, and it was gone. As his hand went back to his side and he prepared himself to take what punishment he was going to receive, he felt a little, smooth object at his side on the sheet. Now he could not ignore her grinding into his wide neck with her lips, but he could bare it. He picked up the pills with difficulty in the trembling of his fingers, as she lay back down on him. She pressed down for a kiss, when he popped the pill in his mouth and took in her tongue without a clench. When her lips were locked into his and her tongue caressing his, he shoved the pills into her mouth with his tongue and attacked, leaping forward and shoving her on the bed, pinching her nose and sealing his other hand on her mouth. He was panting when he shouted in her face a frenzy, "Swallow it!"

She hit him as hard as she could be he couldn't let go of her until she swallowed them, no matter what the cost. He endured the pain for thirteen seconds until she was fighting to hold on, beating him and not consuming whatever Eddy had put in her. Every second was an hour, her lungs, her head, her whole body screaming, "Breathe!" So she swallowed it and he let go, now under her again. She punched him in the face, gasping for breath.

"What did you make me eat?!" She yelled, pulling him up from under her by the three hairs of his head. He laughed, as she became drowsy, and dropped him on the mangled blankets.

"A sleeping pill," he laughed on, as she lost all consciousness and fell over onto him with the weight of a strong fifteen year old on a short boy of thirteen. He lost his laughter quickly, laying there and squirming. He pushed her, groaning and muttering complaints. He tried to pull her off, pushing her arms, and then trying to slip from under her. Nothing worked though, and she slept like a weight, starting to snore. "Instant? AHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

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Ed came downstairs to his bedroom after helping his sister cleaning the dinner dishes, well, him washing and drying and her watching. He found May laying in his chair sideways and throwing one of the turkeys around the room at the opposite wall, having it bounce back to her to catch. She gave him a smile, and he grinned widely, hiding the nervousness he was feeling. He had sadness in his look and guilt brewing in his large stomach.

"Um, do you want to... do you... to... do you ... tutu, do you want to have a snack?" He asked, ah, that was simple enough.

"Sure Ed," she answered. So he gave her the sleeping pills he was supposed to have her ingest. As simple as that. He remembered Eddy's instructions clearly, _"Make her eat these." _That was that. And he knew that once she ate them, she'd be out like a broken light bulb. She looked at them, then raised her hand to her mouth, just to lower it. "What is this anyways?"

Ed froze, smile fading. All of a sudden, this wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. He tried to think of a lie, something to explain the little, odd object he had given her. Usually snacks didn't come this small, unless you were on a low sodium diet. He could almost hear the Jeopardy theme being played in his head as he thought. He put a finger up to his closed lips, and thought some more. Ah hah! He had it now, and answered her fluently, as she tapped her fingers on the chair's arm.

"They are tic-tacs!" He said. She stared blinkless for a second, as her tear ducts started to break out. May began to cry, clenching the pills and sobbing in front of him in a theatrical display.

"You think my breath stinks!"

"No I do not! I just like them, I thought you would too!" He said, having thought of another good lie, even though he didn't think her breath stunk. She wiped her left eye, calming slightly.

"Really?" She asked, considering again her 'snack'. He nodded, his head acting like a bobble head. She mirrored him, then raised her hand again to her mouth, just to lower it once more. "Hey, you aren't trying to poison me or something are you?" She asked this in her funny voice, making him blush. He nodded, then shook his head to correct his honesty, spewing out sweat from every pore. She shrugged and raised them again to her mouth and... Ed ran over and grabbed her hand.

"Don't eat it!" He wailed, taking them and climbing onto the arm of the chair as a mountain man and hurled his hand behind his head dramatically and threw it towards the bathroom. They heard a clunk in the toilet after quite some milliseconds. May held up a sign that read, '7.5', and Ed smiled proudly at his endeavor. She looked at the sign she held up, then threw it behind the chair and frowned at him.

"What you do that for?"

"It is poison, I was trying to make you sleep because Eddy had a master plan to poison you and your sisters and throw you back in your trailer the next morning because he wants to get rid of all of you but I don't want to get rid of you, I like you now since you are so nice to me!" He wiped a tear from his eye and grabbed her into a hug. "I'm sorry!" She was dumbfounded, slightly confused, but mostly taken in amour by his embrace. He then set her down and started sweating more, as he went forward and kissed her lips with his hands still holding her arms. Both couldn't move as he let go and he went back. "I'm sorry, mommy told me that girls don't like being kissed."

May ignored the fact that Ed's thinking was completely uncalled for since she had always kissed him. "When did she tell you that?"

"Kidney-garden," he said, making her smile again.

"Well I like it Ed!" She said, going forward and returning the kiss.

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It was six a.m. over the cul-de-sac that morning. The Eds were up, ready for the last phase of operation: Kankers Outta Here! Why this early? As the sun came up over the houses, they knew that the sleeping pills wouldn't have their effect much longer, so six o' clock it was. Eddy was the first up since he had never got to sleep in the first place, still trying to push Lee off of him by morning. Finally, he shoved her off onto her side and got up, seeing the light come into the window. He got up and redressed, then went down to his basement for the needed equipment. He came up from the basement with three brown sacks and whistled as he went to the bedroom again to get one of the sacks around Lee's feet and try to slide her down into it. Of course, if he couldn't push her off him, there wasn't going to be any sliding accomplished. Lee lay there as heavy as before, and perfectly calm in sleep, in the little nightgown she was wearing. He growled, not much else he could do. The bedroom door leading outside opened and Veronica came in, tired, cranky, and pajama clad.

"Hi Eddy," she moaned, rubbing her eyes for the fifth time. He looked at her, mad as a bird.

"Help me get her fat can in the sack!" He pulled on her legs, but she wouldn't move. Veronica just stood there in the doorway, staring at him angrily. He had to roll his eyes, since he needed to drop the tone, "Please?" Now that he had given in to her inferred demands, she came over and easily slipped her in the sack, making him feel weak. He frowned at her, sitting down on the bed with crossed arms. The Lee-filled sack lay on the ground and she tied it in a knot, smiling contentedly at her friend.

"Don't feel bad Eddy, she IS heavy," He looked up at her, just to find a teasing smile on her now awake face. He threw the other sacks at her.

"Go help Double D and Ed!"

She threw them back, "But Eddy, how are you going to be able to carry her yourself?" He sighed, getting up and leaving for the open door. He stood there, staring at her, thinking of something to vindicate himself.

"I.. am a macho man!" He said, raising a hand high with power in his eyes and his chest out. And then, he went off like a marathon runner to Edd's house, leaving her to laugh, then set her eyes on the bed.

When Eddy got up to the purple house, Edd immediately opened the door and gazed at him with sleepy, yet nervous eyes. He handed him a sack with lowered eyelids, "Go get her." His friend, however, looked down at the sack studyingly.

"I can't do it Eddy, it just, it isn't in me..."

This was a day for eye rolling, since he found himself doing it again, "Yeah, yeah, then go over to Ed's and give him his sack." Edd went off in his pajamas, feeling enlightened. He watched him off, then gripped the door post and went into the house. Edd reached his destination in his bunny slippers and yellow pajamas, timidly looking around to make sure no one would see him so 'indisposed'. He slid open the panel of the basement window and whispered for his friend. The big guy was sleeping in bed, toes up.

"Psst, Ed!" He whispered as loud as he dared as May was sleeping right under the window on the table in a sleeping bag. "Ed!" He clenched the sack he held, and heaved it over to Ed through the window. But, yes, it landed halfway to its destination on the dirty floor. "Curse the aerodynamics of that bag." He groaned, trying to think of another way to get Ed up without getting into the room and consequently, stepping on the snoozing blonde that they were trying to kidnap.

But, luckily, he saw Ed convulse in his sleep and jump up a foot in the air, just to land in a bounce on the mattress. The rapid movement could only remind the viewer in the window of a fish, flopping in a boat's floor with the hook still in its jaw. He sat up and placed his broad feet on the cold cement, rubbing his eyes and looking over at his visitor. "Hi Double D!"

"Shhhh!!" Edd shoved his index finger over his mouth, and used the other to point at May, and consequently not holding on to the house for balance and he fell into the window frame and down, down onto the girl he had been avoiding. He was frightened, not to mention in pain, awaiting the further pain of May finding him and Eddy's whacks on the head for his screwing up of their master plan. But on slept May, giving off a loud breathing sound and turning on her side, sending the delicate boy into the cement wall. Ed got up, and came over to peel him off the bricks.

"Thank you Ed," he moaned, "She is still asleep? No wonder mother never stirs at night. I was sure that she'd wake up." His companion just kept silent, knowing that May was just a very sound sleeper. Edd wiped off his pajamas and stood up straight, ignoring the pain in his back. "Alright Ed, there is your sack, do you need assistance with removing her?"

"NO!" Ed freaked out, then tried to smile, thinking that would cover up his distressed behavior. "Uh," he placed a finger on his mouth, "I can pack her, fragile too!" He picked up his friend and hoisted him up to the window against his little will. "Go, goodbye, Ed will FedEx her!"

Sure, the hatted Ed was uneasy about leaving Ed to haul her like a piano and quite confused as to why he was so quick to get rid of him, but he wouldn't say anything but listen, the hoisting up with one hand of his entire body said how much control he had. Well, Eddy had Marie, and Ed was taking care of May, so he thought that he should help Veronica with Lee. He could always see Lee being the heaviest of the Kanker sisters anyway. He went around back to Eddy's private door and found it blatantly open, the sack of Kanker on the floor, and his friend in Eddy's bed, under the covers, and sleeping happily. He had to smile, as she slept slightly on her stomach, with her naked arm stretched out from under the covers and holding onto the purple pillow. Coming in, he came over to the bed and slid down the blanket from her, revealing her slender back barely clothed with a loose, spaghetti strapped tank. With a burning face, he recalled that she was no morning person, but the bear in the dead of winter, so Eddy's bed must have been very enticing at six a.m. He sat down, and reached in his face to hers to caress her pointy nose with the tip of his. He rubbed his face on hers, feeling her warmth and softness, the smile never leaving him once. He continued to rub their noses together, until she finally starting squinting, and then opened her eyes. She leaned away, sliding under the blankets deeper into the bed.

"What are you doing?"

Dumbfounded, little 'uhs' and 'ums' were all he could muster. She timidly came back under him, turned over, and sat up, returning the caress to his face. "What's this about?" She inquired, as she affectionately rubbed her nose on his. He held himself up from her with his arms by her side with her arms holding her up under him.

"It is an Eskimo kiss my dear."

"Oh," she waited until he untrapped her and got up to make the bed. He waited for her to put on her housecoat, staring at the bag, to take one side of the sack as she took the other. It was hard to carry such an oblong shaped object of Lee's weight, but they managed through the front door and onto the sunlit patio. The intense morning light shown off of the pale pavement, practically blinding them.

"Set her down on the chair." Veronica instructed as they came to the lounge chair first. He followed, and watched her go to the bedroom door and shut it.

"I do not believe that Eddy would care about his door being open," he smiled weakly, preparing himself for the load again, as his arms quickly were becoming sore. She stared at him teasingly for a second, with her smile wide and face flushed, then went over to the door and reopened it. He found her hysterical laughing a lightening of the awkward atmosphere and helped get Lee off the chair and through the yard to the road, both not seeing the raccoons and birds rushing through the open door.

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Upstairs, Eddy opened the door and found Marie sleeping in the bed. He had been thinking: scoop, toss, and carry out. But when he saw her on the bed, with her eyelids so soft and seductive, her blue hair framing her face, one arm above her head and her top falling off one shoulder... he had to stop, being weakened and made so tender by the sleeping figure. He swallowed hard, coming over and just standing there like a fool, watching her sleep. Every second he procrastinated made him weaker and weaker. He now wanted to cuddle her. He knew better than to give in to her charms, but he couldn't help but look at her, and look a little more... He was weak for her, and fell into the bed, right next to her. She didn't wake, having been drugged with such a heavy pill. And he reached over, promising himself that he'd only kiss her once if at all. And he did, placing his lips over her dry mouth and pressing down. He whined, as he pressed her. He opened his mouth, getting in between her lips and into her loose mouth. He could feel her saliva on his tongue, feel his heart beating so fast- and he just loved it. He let go after three minutes of being so still and quiet, sighing heavily as he stared at the closed eyes of his object of obsession. That was the one kiss, and he got up and took the sack to put her in it.

"I hate you Marie."

His sigh was soon turned into a snicker, however, as he glanced at her unknowing eyes so gently closed. He had to smirk, and gleam devilish eyes up at her, and jumped up onto his feet, and fell over onto the mattress on the sack. The sack was very coarse, but he snatched it, and quickly snatched her and stuffed her in the sack, not being able to help his mischievous laughing.

"Stupid Marie, you think you're so freakin' tough, but guess who's got you!" He chuckled lightly, hauling her over his back, with his knees bent, and went out the door and down the stairs, out the door, into the road, and down the street with a whistle in his throat. From down the street came Edd and Veronica with their load in their arms, and they smiled, even though they were in distress with their load, at Eddy as he whistled on. They joined in, all whistling "Yankee Doodle" for no other reason than their explicit happiness and mutual knowledge of the song. They went together and up the street for their turn to the left and down the street to the trailer park's opening.

Eddy was pleased with their plan's successfulness, they might actually make it this time, and he stuck out his tongue at Veronica, rubbing in her failed plan from the day before. She growled, but continued to whistle, with Edd getting free a hand (since he wasn't helping much anyway) and wagging a finger at Eddy. They whistled on, waking up all the neighbors as they went onto Ginger slowly but surely.

But soon, they were joined by their fourth party, and he contributed his strong voice and large lungs to their whistling parade. At the corner of their eyes, though, they saw the fifth join and all heads dashed over to the left where they saw May walking, arm in arm with Ed, not in a sack of any kind or shape.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They all screamed, Edd and Veronica dropping Lee, and Eddy's jubilance being crushed at the sight of the buck-toothed Kanker. She waved at them, blushing. Ed was continuing to whistle as everyone else stopped their work and stood in the road, staring and gawking him.

"Ed! Do you got to screw up everything!?" Eddy shouted, receiving Ed's attention in only another second. He turned to his friend, and smiled.

"Nope," he was so happy, he pointed at May, "One May," and then at himself, "One Ed. We are complete! Did I do good Eddy?" He couldn't have looked anymore like a groveling dog if he had had a tail to wag. His addressed pal's eyelids only went lower than a sixty year old attempting power squats, and his mouth got wide again.

"She's supposed to be in the sack Double D was supposed to give ya'!" He looked over at the socked boy to give a frown.

"But Eddy! Look, she's my friend now!" He pointed at May, who smiled at Eddy on cue. He growled at her, and stomped his feet, even though he held onto Marie tightly in his arms the entire time.

"Eddy, I'm going to go the trailer park, no questions asked, so don't you be sassing my honey bun!" May rebuked feistily. This only made him growl more, but, he looked over at Lee's sack to see if she was still in a coma, then trudged on.

"Fine! Get into the trailer park and make up with your stupid sisters!" He started going along faster, until May stopped them in their tracks and squealed with her normally abnormal voice.

"What? That's the plan?"

Eddy rolled his eyes, as Edd spoke up, "Yes May, we conquered that you three would be able to resolve your issues and reconcile to your past relationship if given the opportunity to do so." May frowned, looking up at Ed, scratching her head as he began to laugh hysterically. Loud and blasting was this laugh, and it slowly decelerated into a peep. They all stared at him until he was completely done, and silence over took them.

"What's wrong with you?" Eddy asked, getting really impatient, still carrying Marie by the way.

Ed looked down at his feet, then turned his head in a pivotal motion to them with a smile. "It is pretty stupid Eddy." He flamed, continuing down the road to the entrance of the trailer park, and went in with Ed and May following humorously, and Veronica and Edd struggling farthest behind, panting and writhing in pain all the way. The two watched the Ed pick up the trailer and put it back into its original place terra firma, and all went in casually, leaving them with the load of Lee. They inched along, the task becoming more and more difficult with every second that went by, and Eddy came to the door and shouted at them.

"Hurry it up!"

"Eddy! Lee is much heavier than she looks and our hold on her is slipping!" Edd cried out, dragging along his legs. Veronica groaned at his high pitched whine, looking at Eddy in the door.

"Get your can over here and help us!" He went back, then looked up at his hair stand up straight again on his head, variating from the blow of her voice which had pushed it back. He slowly came over to them and helped.

"Woah, what happened to her? She's like an elephant!" He was humble enough to admit that, as they finally came up to the trailer door and went in to find Ed and May seated on the couch, and they dropped Lee when they saw that Marie was seated right next to them, wide awake and completely mad- at the shortest of them.

"So you hate me Eddy?" She sneered, getting up and cracking her fists in her palms. He stepped back, ignoring the loud bang that the dropping of Lee's sack produced.

"Uh..."

"Hey Edd, I thought your mommy's medicine was supposed to keep them sleeping," Ed mentioned, blinking humorously as Marie cornered Eddy.

May giggled, "Give him a noogie Marie!"

Eddy kept backing up, "Yeah Double D! She's been awake this entire time!" He was shaking in fear, remembering quite vividly his tongue in her mouth. He went back until he hit the wall in horror. The trailer door was open, and Marie just kept coming, so he had the open door that insultingly was displaying two birds flying freely in the morning sky to escape out. She leapt forward to snatch him for a multitude of fists when he scrambled for the door and went for it with his fingers reaching the 'Welcome' mat when an unexpected guest showed up with her arms crossed, face as straight as the horizon, and coming up the steps into the trailer and stepping on his fingers.

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lee!!!!!!" Ed jumped into May's lap, shaking in fear. Eddy screamed in pain under her weight, and Marie laughed.

"Wait," Edd was confused; Veronica pointed around the room at May, then at Marie, at Ed who had supposedly screwed up their plans, at Lee, and then at the sack on the ground which they had just been trying so hard to carry here. "My mother's pills were to keep them from awaking... and... Marie is here... and Lee is right there... so who's in the..."

"Oh come on! This guy is the pickle surgeon? Do you really think I weigh that much?" Lee walked right over Eddy to the sack and uncovered a big, classic anvil. Edd scratched his head, blushing in embarrassment.

"Well that explains it..."

"Stupid Double D! YOU chickened out didn't you? You don't want to go and drug up the stupid Kanker sisters because YOUR stupid morals make you not think it's right so you go and switch the pills on me! What was that? A vitamin?!!!!" Eddy was up and in Edd's face, shouting angrily over all this frustration that happened to be working the worst on him.

"No Eddy, I really did steal my mother's sleeping pills and distributed them for your devious plan of removal! I have no understanding as to what went wrong! We gave them an overdose, they should have been unconscious for much, much longer than this!!!!" He stepped back, writhing his wrists and glancing at the wide-awake Kankers. And, in the midst of their confusion, Ed piped up from the couch, and he stood, with a proud look on his face.

"Kevin did it!"

"What?" Veronica glared at him, "We haven't seen him in days, what does he got to do with anything?"

"Kevin switched Edd's mommy's sleepy medicine on us."

"Why would he do that?! We haven't got him mad all week!" Eddy frowned, stepping into Edd to get away from Marie and Lee as they were coming in on him. He grabbed their lamp off the table and pointed it at them in strategic fencing moves.

"Oh Eddy!!" Marie pulled her pajama sleeve up her shoulder, and got him to back up onto the couch.

"Veronica! Stop your stupid cousins!" He hollered, stepping over May and falling over the other end of the couch, right over the arm and onto the floor and into the other corner.

"OW!" May screamed. She got up and started going for Eddy to maul him into fifty plus pieces. He clenched the wall behind him, his eyes watched his fate come nearer and nearer.

"I don't understand, how could this have happened, I was afraid that they would never wake up after that overdose, but really, it had hardly any effect." Edd was still mindfully mumbling on about the baffling situation. "Or any at all..." He glanced over at Veronica, just standing there, ignoring all of Eddy's pleas for help. She smiled guiltily at his suspicious look as she just watched to watch the revenge of Eddy's stupid plan going down the drain, then ran off to help him. And when she moved out of the way of the trailer door, he saw Kevin standing out there, with a smile on his face. He raised his eyebrows, then quickly, with one smooth, simple movement, he slammed the swift door shut and the lock went into place. He stared on at the locked door, then turned softly to the fight in the corner of the trailer, then at Ed who was crawling over to him.

"This trailer's getting crowded Double D!" He said uneasy, going over to the exit. Edd looked at him, then lifted his head and screamed on the top of his lungs:

"EDDY! KEVIN **HAS** CROSSED US!!!!!" He panted, going over to the trailer door and trying to pull it open with all his might. Everyone stopped their fighting in the corner, with Lee holding Eddy up by the three twicks of hair and her other hand in his gut, Marie gnawing on his arm, Veronica pulling on May's legs while she was fisting Eddy. They all stopped in this position, and their distressed looks loomed over to Edd and Ed trying to bang the door open.

"Ed was right?" Eddy asked in stunned confusion as Veronica snatched him from Lee by the hair and slipped him out of the grips of her cousins to bring him over to the door and set him down.

"Hey!!!" All three of the Kanker sisters yelled, and started running for them as they bashed on the door and even used Ed to try to ram the door open. They turned to see them coming for them, and Ed got down on his feet again, completely overtaken with fear and dread so that he ran right through the door, making a new door in the shape of his frame. The rest followed out, with the Kankers chasing them into the woods and into the cul-de-sac. Edd dared to look behind him once, and saw the once fighting Kankers running together as a pack of hyenas after them, quite agitated on this early morning, as the sun heated up the air.

"Eddy, your plan! Look!" He pointed, while still running like crazy. They all glanced behind, seeing the Kankers' unofficial reconciliation.

"You're right! It worked! **I** was right!" He grinned, finding the energy to go on further to a house, any house. Each ran down the pavement to a yard and ran around back to Eddy's bedroom. They scrambled through the open door and quickly slammed it shut and locked it behind them. All four rested against the door, panting like volcanos as their enemies beat against the door. Then, they finally got enough oxygen to their brains to realize that they were not alone in this room.

Raccoons were in his garbage can and closet, birds were flying and relieving themselves everywhere and shedding feathers all over the carpet and bed. And they could hear even more birds, apart from the fifty in this room, in the bathroom, bathing in the toilet.

"Oh my," Edd moaned. Veronica frowned at him, and Eddy glared at them both.

"You guys didn't shut the door!?" He growled, being shaken onto the floor by the Kankers' bursts.

"We're going to get you!" They heard May shout, as they stared at the mess in front of them.

And, even at this early time, Ed had the best idea that any of them could think of at this point, "Let's call it a day guys!"

**The End**

The moral of this story is, uh, eeehhh: if first you don't succeed, steal sleeping pills, drug your enemy, then carry them in a sack like they are onions or something and throw them in a trailer together. Hopefully you can't apply this moral.


End file.
